From inside the’Cocoon’ – There is a crack in everything

The Blackbird. outside my window. My sole companion (Image thesilvervoice)

Another week. It was a hard week as day 54 was crossed off my calendar.

I normally sleep very well, but for a number of consecutive nights, sleep either eluded me completely or was fitful.

It is hard enough getting through ‘normal’ days punctuated by rest of 7 or 8 hours of respite. But a solid block of 24 hours, alone with your thoughts, is not a safe place, not a good place to be. It becomes overwhelming – full of grief for those who have been claimed by this virus, full of sorrow for the bereaved families and friends we were powerless to support, full of sadness that our traditional funerals have become little more than body disposal exercises. And full of an overwhelming sense of loss for roads not taken and the heartbreak of lost and damaged relationships.

Such dark feelings border on depression. Interestingly, many friends tell me that this week has been a challenging one for them too, many of them in totally different situations to mine, yet all dragged down by deep anxiety that can be difficult to analyse.

Yet, there is a crack in everything letting the light in, as Leonard Cohen says. An unexpected phonecall, a video of a quest for bluebells along a woodland path, the sound of laughing children, a photo sent by a friend. And not least, the news that short outdoor exercising will be permitted from May 5.

A lovely photo, thoughtfully sent (Image Mary Colbert)

This too will pass, so we must ring the bell that still can ring.

I hope you enjoy this live performamce of Anthem , beautifully presented by Leonard Cohen and a host of musicians.

Anthem by Leonard Cohen

The birds they sang
At the break of day
Start again
I heard them say
Don’t dwell on what
Has passed away
Or what is yet to be
Yeah the wars they will
Be fought again
The holy dove
She will be caught again
Bought and sold
And bought again
The dove is never free

Ring the bells (ring the bells) that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything (there is a crack in everything)
That’s how the light gets in

Leonard Cohen, extraordinary poet.
  • Here in Ireland, everyone who is compromised by health issues and those aged over 70 must stay at home, with food and medication being delivered by family members or teams of volunteers.This is called ‘Cocooning’ and this will be a series of short posts from inside the cocoon.



Filed under Covid-19, Ireland, Older Generation

7 responses to “From inside the’Cocoon’ – There is a crack in everything

  1. Thank you for the beautiful post. I think what you have been going through is uneccessary and cruel. I am over 70 and live in Australia. My husband and I enjoy our walk every day. I am glad for you that as from today you too will be able to go outside and hopefully enjoy some spring sunshine.

  2. Well, you’re free now Angela, to a degree anyway. I think all governments realise that it’s just not sustainable to maintain the lockdown or the consequences will be worse than the immediate danger. And I think this gorgeous weather has helped in maintaining our mental equilibrium.

    And thank you for posting that great song by Cohen.

    • It was cold and wet and windy on the day of the ‘great escape’. It was something of a damp squib. 🙂 On the warmer days there were lots of people about – i had to come back home on one of those days. But when its quiet and warm it is just bliss! The advertising about managing stress and looking after mental health is being stepped up alright. Such life changing goings on – it’s like a tsunami to many – losss of business, income, possibly their homes. Apart altogether from the awaful loss of life. Fingers crossed that they can keep it under contraol…no real prospects of escaping this cocoon, apart from exercise- for th erest of the summer I think. Mind yourself.

  3. Congratulations! Your blog has been included in INTERESTING BLOGS in FRIDAY FOSSICKING at
    Thank you, Chris

  4. Hello Angela, I’m delighted to have come across your lovely blog. I happened to be writing a blog post about growing potatoes and I typed ‘balls of flour’ into google – and up you popped! I see you’ve been posting since 2011, (similar to myself) so I’m looking forward to browsing further after this. Take care and stay safe. Slán go fóill, eoin

    • Delighted to meet you and thank you for visiting! It wont be long now til we can put slabs of butter and salt on this year’s balls of flour! I must have a wander around your blog shortly! Stay safe in these strange times!

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